A woman can be either smart or beautiful?

“Smart ugly”, “beautiful dummy” … Often these images we see on the screens and at least hear real stories about such characters from friends and loved ones. Why is the stereotype that a woman can be either smart or beautiful is still alive? And what happens when a “ideal” still appears next to us? The psychoanalyst Svetlana Fedorova answers.

It seems to everyone to understand for a long time: the mind and beauty are relative and are not directly related to either career growth, nor with family happiness, or with satisfaction with life in general.

But contrary to common sense, we absolutize them and breed on different sides of the barricades: “It’s good to look at the beautiful, but it’s easy to live with smart”;“The beauty of the mind will not give”;”The face is white, but a little mind”. Even in fairy tales there is Vasilisa (Elena) a wise and another – beautiful. They are both sweet and smart, and yet these are two different women. Why for us the mind and beauty are two poles?

“To be smart and beautiful at the same time is like having both sexes,” notes the psychoanalyst Svetlana Fedorova. – After all, beauty is a socially encouraged sign of a woman, femininity. And the mind is a socially encouraged sign of a man. A woman who claims to be either, as if claiming her omnipotence. And thereby causes universal indignation, because it encroaches on the identity of both men and women.

So, in a man, a smart beauty causes castration alarm. Because the mind is an important attribute of its potentiality and power, which a woman seems to try to take away from him. He would prefer it to be only beautiful “.

As for women, a clash with the “ideal” often threatens their picture of the world and a holistic perception of oneself. After all, most of us are building our identity, guided http://ayishamistressdxb.com/news/obzor-lucky-jet-otzyvy-igrokov-o-zarabotke-v-igre/ by the principle of reality. Sooner or later, we abandon the children’s faith in our omnipotence and accept our imperfections, compensate them for the recognition of the characteristics and talents. And we can think about ourselves, for example, like this: “Well, yes, I’m not a beauty, but sensitive, understanding, with a good sense of humor”.